※ 本文為 cuteman0725 轉寄自 cuteman0725.bbs@ptt.cc 時間: 2011-06-14 12:40:51

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網路上看到的 順手翻譯一下
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There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business
trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get
her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much
like the idea of her screwing someone else.

So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He
thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man
for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to
please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He
explained his situation, the old man "Well, I don't really know of anything
that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so
on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks,
except..." and he stopped."
棒，看看有什麼特別的可以好好服務他太太，接著他開始跟櫃檯的老人講話。他解釋了他
的狀況，那老人說：「 嗯，我不是很清楚要什麼商品才能辦到。我們有震動肉棒、特殊
附件……等等，但我不知道有什麼東西可以滿足她好幾個禮拜，除了……」然後老人閉上

"Except what?"
"Nothing, nothing."
"C'mon, tell me ! I need something!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'"

"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box,
carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very
ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big ****ing deal.
It looks like every other dildo in this shop!"
起來極其平凡的假肉棒。男人大笑，說：「幹你耍我喔！？這跟店裡其他假肉棒有什麼兩

"Ahh, but you haven't seen what it'll do yet."

He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."

The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started
screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack
developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said
。整扇門都因為巫毒屌的震動而搖晃不已，然後門板中間出現了道裂痕。在門攔腰折斷之

"Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"

The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent
once more.
Businessman "I'll take it!"

The old man resisted, saying "it wasn't for sale", but he finally surrendered
to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special
dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say...

"Voodoo dick, my pussy."

He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought
of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered
the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo
dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd
ever experienced before.
了巫毒屌的存在。她拿出它，說：「巫毒屌，我的穴！」巫毒屌就衝向她的跨下、開始了

After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out,
but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out,
but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So
she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her
clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering
with every thrust of the dildo On the way, another orgasm nearly made her
swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her
license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching,
she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck
in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing.
她不斷試著把巫毒屌拔出來，但完全沒用。她先生忘記告訴她怎麼停下巫毒屌了。
於是她決定去醫院看看有沒有辦法。
她穿上衣服，坐上車，然後駛向醫院，隨著巫毒屌的每一次插入而在路上顫抖，又一次的
高潮讓她突然在馬路上打了一個大橫，然後她就被警察攔下來了。
警察先看了她的駕照，然後問她喝了多少。

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said:
"Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"




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幹！翻完才發現不好笑......

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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 114.42.214.245
那我稍微改一下最後一句...
※ 編輯: malindorothy    來自: 114.42.214.245       (06/13 10:06)
感謝建議 感成閩南語了XD
※ 編輯: malindorothy    來自: 114.42.214.245       (06/13 10:28)
※ adware0105:轉錄至看板 StupidClown                               06/13 13:25


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